In honor of David Letterman’s retirement, following is an excerpt from Late Night with David Letterman: The Book, Ed. Merrill Markoe, Villard Books, New York, 1985.
Residence: Nonviewer—split-level three bedroom house; Viewer—allowed to use equipment shed at a driving range.
Employment: Nonviewer—insurance sales representative; Viewer—no job as such, but sold two Bowie tickets for $150.
Education: Nonviewer—bachelor’s degree, Kansas State University; Viewer—would have high school diploma if shop teacher wasn’t such a liar.
Marital Status: Nonviewer—married, two children; Viewer—divorced, but would like to get divorced again some day.
Attitude Toward Entertainment Tonight’s Mary Hart: Nonviewer—can’t abide her; Viewer—can’t abide her.
Attitude Toward Movies in Which Cycle Gangs Terrorize Ordinary Folks: Nonviewer—repulsed by them; Viewer—seeks them out.
Favorite Hobby: Nonviewer—restoring antique wood furniture; Viewer—shooting at stop signs with a pellet gun.
Political Affiliation: Nonviewer—last voted Republican ticket in ’82 election; Viewer—last voted in US magazine “Who’s Hot—Who’s Not” poll.